Stepping some STEP's Forward !!

I did not know how to walk ? ... I did not know how to talk ? ... I did not know how to eat ? ... I did not know what is right ? ... I did not know What is Mom ? ... I did not know what is Dad ? ... This all I came to know slowly & slowly .... I grew up from my surrounding. And this is how I developed my thoughts.

This means .. I should be thankfull to every such thing ... that crossed my way while I was in my learning phase. Now when I am grown up Am I supposed to give everything in return ? ... If someone asks Ohh !! God Your Mom did so much for You now you are not acting the way one should act !! .. You can't act differently ... at all ... Act the way is expected.

What is the mistake if someone wants to act the way one wants ?

A Letter from Mangalam

I am posting the TEXT of the Letter written for me by a small boy named ' Mangalam ' aged 8 years dated 3rd of NOV' 2006.

It goes like this :-

" TO : The one who means a lot. Let's not make our relationship sour. Please try to forgive and forget. I'll surely try not to repeat my mistake. I fell guilty at my attitude. I didn't realize what ever I did, would turn out this way please forgive for my behaviour. I guess I shall never be able to forgive my self all said and done. I know I was wrong. I shall try to make amends. I am sorry I have hurt you. I do not want to loose the trust that we share.

My Letter are never wrong but I am sorry I hurt You. Though sorry is a small word, it means a lot. Your smile makes a big difference to me. I do confess I was wrong. Do brighten up your spirit now. Please do not think to your heart. I wish take back the words I said to you. I can never think of you. Do forget the blues of the past. I shall do whatever makes you happy. I am missing our moments of laughter. Let's not make things difficult between us. "

SORRY !.

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The 'Choolha'

Abhee pichli post may ek shabd aaya ... tha ' choolha ' ... mainey socha iss kee english kya hogee .. !! ' cooking stove ' bahut jama nahee .. !! toe laga jab itna achcha shabd maujood hee hai .. hamarey paas toe kyon usko kisi aur naam say pukarey !! ... theek kiya naa .. :D

My Flat Set Up !!

Hi... on 28th July '06, I stepped into my new flat. Even to me :-) it is not clear why I left the township ( Residential area for BHEL Employees ) .... nor do I want to know !! ... So far I have purchased couple of components for my Two Room Set & A Kitchen .... Oh ... Yeah ... I have brought my MOM as well .. :D though with an intention .. to get my SET UP of kitchen done by her .. !! So finally I have almost got that done. Yesterday ( 10th Aug'06 ) I purchased ' choolha ' and for the first time .. it was lighten up by my MOM ... !!

Knowing the Unknown

What a strange CONCEPT this TIME is ? ... Some ' Time ' ... You try Your Best to estimate all the possible outcomes of a given problem at the moment, but very often couple of outcomes which take the control of Your Life, comes in picture and all the effort goes in vain. Still I am not certain enough about Who makes FATE or it's just a concept. And also are these FATE & TIME same or different CONCEPT'S.

Marco My Italian Friend

Following are some of our Conversations

Conversation 1:

Topic :

• Uniformity & Silence of/in Nature

Me :

> "One Day I thought about a Group of nice red Apples"> All were looking similar a Lot,no difference in color> , taste , or even> sizes ....> But still if You pick One and make lots of pieces of> it, the taste,color> still persists with each piece but One thing that> vanishes by such an> action "The True Beauty".> :: That lies in "Whole" ::> Then I thought a bit more general like "The Whole> Earth".. "The Whole> Universe".... How beautiful they are .. So silent> ...as if they don't> expect anything from us ... Complete in themselves ..> waiting just to> give their "wholeness" to anybody without putting any> reservation to any> "body".... So great they Are , So Rich in their> thoughts ....

Marco :
Nice thought, but I guess everything and everyone has its own universe.If you cut an apple in two pieces, you will lost the "Wholeness" of theapple but will gain the "Wholeness" of the two pieces.

Me :

> Then I thought about Our "Self" .... Often we make so> wrong judgements> about other since we do not or could not get the> "Whole" picture of> others since Time never permits, to have such a deep> thought in making> or putting effort in learning "Whole" of someone.> What we know or just could know is simply what affects> us or something> that attracts us. And nothing above this Layer. You> know when You find> this "Wholeness" in someone "This is what I think> makes a person> confident of ones own" ,A Self that no more requires> any particular kind> of knowledge ... Now the Beauty of Knowledge just> flows in Ones Heart.> "I think its the Mystery of Knowledge".

Marco :

What you call "Mistery of Knowledge" somebody will call it "karma".I have a little piece of paper in my wallet with the explanation ofkarma, I'll try to translate it for you:...this teacher listened the instructions contained in 18 booksregarding the value of the "greater" and the "minor". He never wroteanything about what he learned, and didn't remembered anything, insteadhe completely forgot everything.Later, in real situations he acted following his intuition and theinstructions he received became his personal wisdom. This is the natureof "karma"Although i'm rational, I always carry a bit of karma with me :)

Bye Pradeep, it is been an honour for me to meet such a person like you,I hope one day our paths will cross again. Enjoy your life and take care of yourself, at least until we meet again :)

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Conversation 2:

Topic :

• Am I a mad human being ?

Me :

> " Am I a Typical specie ? " .. or " Someone Who can be termed as a MAD ? " Why very often these terms get added to my identity. What do You say ?

Marco :

This is something that happen to me very often. "Freak", "Strange","Mad" and "Geek". People tell me these words often.I think what everyone want is really to be accepted by others. Notbeing alone. To accomplish this, the easiest way is just to act andbehave like everyone. If all your friends wear red shoes it would betempting for you to buy red shoes even if you don't like them inorder to be appreciated by them and by all the people who wear redshoes.People with blue shoes stand out, and standing out is seen as athreat to the group people are part of. Inconsciously, people thinksthat if you wear blue shoes you are mad, that's because you doexactly the opposite as them. What this people don't realize, is thatthere are people with different objectives and interests. I am notinterested in wearing red shoes in order to appear like the others.People find this too diffucult to accept or to understand and foundmuch simpler to label you as a mad guy.Choosing to wear blue shoes unfortunately sometimes leads toloneliness. The advantage I've found is that if you are lucky you canfind some really good friends that don't care about the colour ofyour shoes.In the end, don't care too much if people say that you are"different", just wear the shoes you like and tell people that you'rehappy with it.

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Coversation 3 :

Topic :

• Getting tired from/in LIFE

Marco :

I wished I could relax a little but it seems that every day brings new challenges. Life seems like climbing a mountain, you can stop walking for a little but if you don't move for too much time you will freeze. At the same way, if I don't have new challenges for too muchtime I'll get bored and depressed. I think everything in nature is moving, even if it doesn't seem so at our eyes.

MAD LOVE

I have a strong mad loving attitude to anything that impresses me. It can be anything … from human to any AIM …. anything. And when the thing or that human wants to step back … bcoz of any unwanted trouble caused bcoz of my presence I don’t let them do so. But sooner or later things get fade like an ASH. And I have no other option to be with my SELF that was remained untouched during the course of time.

One thing that I am still not clear Why I want to get in touch Or Why I want that someone other than my family should CARE .. should THINK … should ASK … about me ? Why …. Don’t I know that WORLD is full of SELFISH Intentions and their exists a reason behind every existing RELATION. Then Does that … means What I am in SEARCH of a RELATION that is based only on TRUST (without any REASON) is not at all possible.

Yeah ! But so far I have found Only One Relation that is above any kind of REASONING and that is a “ MOTHER and CHILD “ relationship. Rest all is simply a WISH OF FALSE FALLING FRUIT IN A DREAM.

Apart from these HUMANS … I always Loved NATURE that never speaks anything that relates to its state. It keeps things in a COVERING of SILENCE and gives a PEACEFULL look to others. That’s what I want to see in my CLOSE GROUP of people but unfortunately could not get one.

I want to be SELFISH in my Wish. I am in need for someone who can act for a single moment as if it is just meant for me.

Simplicity vs Complexity

Don't know why I am just getting an idea that there are only two ways to live a successful life. You know which they are

Either be simplest among all
or
Become the hardest ……

I am trying at the moment to be at the simplest track .... But I know that all the surroundings will make me divert towards the other one ... You know why it happens ... That too because of Your own weakness ...Since You don't have hardness at all or since You are trying to be the simplest You just cannot imagine what hardness could be or it's out of reach from You and the more You will try to become simple the more you will be away from Controlled power of hardness.... That does require a lot in living a life which obviously is expected from You ....

You know why simplicity is supposed to be in hard controllers I know it why ... since there is nothing like simplicity if it could not live in a tunnel of hard rocks ...... You will be thinking that how come these tunnel ... so let me tell You .... I was thinking of the River Brahmaputra that does flow like a stream of data in a tunnel of hard rocky mountains that does provide it way like a tunnel.......

You know its simplicity that does pay a lot for getting even a bit..... of its wish because the ways it implements are of no worth so Obviously lots of bits will be required to make it worthful ...........It's just a relative concept that makes ones simple and other hard since you should know :: like with like cannot go by keeping there individual identities its oneness that can keep them together else forget for their being together.

But if either one tried to get a merging then what will be the final form none left to see it ...... the fear of loosing the selfness............... comes into play and wins the entire game .... and the thing's get repelled......This could be one reason why it needs a third party that can make two likes things merge and resulting a new form that is seen by a third one ...Something like the two likes signed a contract before a third one to take care of their selves after their merging in case they got failed, and nothing resulted ...........

IIT JEE preparation time

A short story of My Journey to IIT

Hello friends !!! Sharing from all of You something what I aspired not simply to live with but to breathe with, something without which life seemed to me as if a broken arrow. Well it's was a tough journey !!! My God in a Class of 400+ students You have to sit and hear the lectures of Your Coaching Institute. It's not One coaching Institute all over India they are lot's of .. I don't know the exact details. You have to compete with Mega number of students to get through this HOT selection in India. You can ask any IITian about this severe selection ... Which makes people mad if they can't get through it. After coming to IIT I see that " I saw an Incomplete Dream " It was just One state of an Endless number of transitions that are visible to me ... But I don't know I have no courage left to step forward, Life is getting a Self Loop at this state, It's like living rest of the Life in an environment of Huge Work of some Software Firm, where You may get fired off ..as soon as One get's ... slow in thoughts and enthusiasm. What else All the freedom all the beauty that was warm welcoming while I was at the Entrance Gate of IIT. Now at the Time of Exit ..Things are more realistic and A New phase of Life with a selfish welcome is about to start.

Lines I wrote Some Day's Back

Over,On & Below Sky
I see faces and faces
I wonder why do they fly
When I try, something stops
I become anxious and cry
One face among them smiles
I asked why ?
Says see around You and disappears
I found no one but my
Over,On & Below footprints "

"Who can Say
Why You are here
Why I am here
Only Time
Why Our Love grows
Why Our face smiles
Only Time
Who send us here
Who bend for us here
Only Time
Why You know me
Why He (God) thrown me
Who can say ?"
Only Time.

"What makes a bud grow
It's trust on time
Or It's beautiful smile
What makes a wave flow
It's promise to time
Or It's colorful shine
What makes a wind blow
It's love to breathe
Or It's natural seethe
What makes me glow
It's my trust on time
Or It's your lovely smile"

MEME's

Just now recalled MEME's !! Concept ... really ... interesting ... May be " The basis of any IDEA that comes all of a sudden " having the validity/invalidity ratio behind it.

Can Someone tell me if anybody ever got anything that is " Completely VALID in any FRAME of REFERENCE " ... and something that is completely INVALID in some FRAME ?

If Yes ! then what are they ?

Since in my opinion everything falls between the two extremes What say ?

And One more thing that I would like to know from is that : What about MEME's of LOVE ? ... I mean How such an IDEA comes to our MIND for someone ?

Waiting to read from Anyone.